Who am I?
I sit
here and ponder and wonder, who am I to my kids. Am I all that they
thought I would be, why do I feel as though I am nothing. I give and
give and give and feel like I still am not good enough. I may be
crazy in thinking this but do you ever just wish they would
appreciate you more, take care of you as you have them, ask how your
day was and maybe for just a second give you snuggles like when they
were younger. Maybe it's just them growing up and going through a
stage but then again they show more affection toward others. What am
I doing that they want to treat me like dirt and not care about my
needs. They know mom will be there, mom will pick me up, mom can go
get it for me or mom will make me dinner.
Who
am I to you and how do I become more important? Why do I feel I have
put this time and effort in to being the best mommy I can be, only to
feel worn and unappreciated at the end of the day. Do any of you beat
yourself up over wanting to know who you are to your kids. I try to
joke and be funny but that just isn't cool, I am so weird to them.
I
want to be everything and more to them, I want them to grow up and be
someone, I don't want to struggle in life. I guess my goals for now
are to find out "Who I am"! I am a grown woman with three
kids and I thought I knew myself but apparently along this journey I
have lost track of who I am.
It's
crazy but all I ever wanted to be was a stay at home mom and be the
best mommy and wife out there but unfortunately we live in a society
that both parents have to work and so who I once was is no longer.
How can we make the adjustment of being a stay at home mom and wife
to being a full time working mom and wife? Maybe that's why I need to
know who I am?
I
know this blog is a little all over but honestly that's how I feel
most of the time. From wanting to know who I am to my kids, to
missing the stay at home job as a mommy and wife, and then trying to
balance going to school to make something of myself, working full
time, and somewhere trying to be the mommy I've always wanted to be.
Anyway thanks for reading and comment if you would like. This blog is
for me to express myself and try and understand who I am.
